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I often hear people say things at shows that make me laugh.Do you have any favorites that you've heard over the years?
I'll start:
"Dude, I'll be right back. I gotta go piss my face off."
Score: 4
Girl right behind me in AC on 10/30, goin nuts, hi 5s, huge smiles, goofin around all night. As Halley's is winding down and they're playing the sort of ambient noise energy, but its not yet totally clear whats coming next:"If they play 2001 right now..." (long thoughtful pause into stone cold sober demeanor, full eye contact) "I will absolutely shit myself."
Score: 12
Also out in the field at the Clifford Ball, dont remember which song, but it was an afternoon set and way deep into a jam. A group of us got into a cycle of "Oh, this is my favorite part, right here!" when it was clear that we had no idea where the jam was going or what was coming next. And we were like, "Oh this next note coming up - thats my favorite one!"Prolly a lot funnier actually being there, but we still get laughs out of that.
Score: 9
After Charleston I I overheard some girl in the lot say: "That was like bustout after bustout. They even busted out the busted outs!". I have no idea what that means.
Score: 9
This isn't a line, but a gesture. I still remember seeing a guy in Albany (97 I think) out in the crowd rubbing his right eye. Instead of just reaching straight up, he wrapped his left arm around the back of his head to rub his right eye. My friend and I thought it was odd and hilarious at the time. We of course did that randomly for months afterward just to make each other laugh.
Score: 14
Things poorly heard at my 1st show, 11/25/09:"This is where the acid kicks in" - Halley's Comet. As far as I know, none was in fact consumed by me or my crew.
"This is the Money Song" - Wilson. We're still trying to figure out what that meant. It was a pretty raucous Wilson.
"This is where the cult indoctrination process begins" - Said to me by my bro. during set ending Antelope. He denies saying this.
Score: 5
"In and out of focus...this is my piss song"-guy taking a piss next to me at Fenway
Score: 17
At Coventry. This guy in front of me says, "Fuck it! I've been squished against rails and shoulder to shoulder at a thousand shows. Tonight baby... I'm dancing elbows out!"Best line ever... I still use "going elbows out" in my daily life!
Score: 20
Not overheard but saw in the lot at MPP night one, some dude in jean shorts no shirt goose stepping like a nazi all up and down near where the porta potties were and just generally moving everywhere quickly in these herky-jerky motions, definitely a few too many of something earlier that afternoon.
Score: 2
@UncleRunkle said: Not overheard but saw in the lot at MPP night one, some dude in jean shorts no shirt goose stepping like a nazi all up and down near where the porta potties were and just generally moving everywhere quickly in these herky-jerkysounds like he was t-rexing...which means he probly had just enough.
motions, definitely a few too many of something earlier that afternoon.
Score: 4
this is slightly off topic but still weird. i was down front at starlake 98, and some guy next to me really wanted to hear possum. so much so he had a stack of polaroid pictures that he took of roadkill possums with the dates he took the pictures. throughout the entire show he was tossing them up on stage. none of the band seemed to take notice, haha.
Score: 5
@poonutties said:
At the Greek on the floor on 8/7 during the second set I saw this super straight-laced guy with his younger girlfriend that spent half the set turned around trying to knock down all the glowsticks coming their way. He was being obsessively protective, and talk about a futile effort to stop something harmles! (he looked sooooo serious the whole time!) I couldn't stop smiling at it and then someone passed his girlfriend a J and when she started smoking it (she looked pretty straight laced herself) I thought he was going to shit himself!! Then some other guy just pat him on the shoulder and said, "Its alright, man. We're all good people." He relaxed a lot and actually turned around......
I love people watching......
@UncleRunkle said:I told my friend he looked like a dinasour at 4am after his first phish show! He said he had taken just the right amount...... f#kn hilarious!Not overheard but saw in the lot at MPP night one, some dude in jean shorts no shirt goose stepping like a nazi all up and down near where the porta potties were and just generally moving everywhere quickly in these herky-jerky motions, definitely a few too many of something earlier that afternoon.sounds like he was t-rexing...which means he probly had just enough.
At the Greek on the floor on 8/7 during the second set I saw this super straight-laced guy with his younger girlfriend that spent half the set turned around trying to knock down all the glowsticks coming their way. He was being obsessively protective, and talk about a futile effort to stop something harmles! (he looked sooooo serious the whole time!) I couldn't stop smiling at it and then someone passed his girlfriend a J and when she started smoking it (she looked pretty straight laced herself) I thought he was going to shit himself!! Then some other guy just pat him on the shoulder and said, "Its alright, man. We're all good people." He relaxed a lot and actually turned around......
I love people watching......
Score: 17
"Did I go to the show last night?" a close friend of mine after Deer Creek night 2 this past summer. He got into fight with Xanax and alcohol at about 10am that morning and it was all bad... We were four rows from the front as well what a waste of a memory.
Score: 2
Dude at the Halloween show dressed as the cowardly lion from wizard of oz. My buddy sees him dipping a fatty finger of mollie. He goes, "Did you just see the cowardly lion doing drugs? haha it was the funniest thing ever!
Score: 12
at alpine when fuck your face came on the guy next to me gets right in my face and screams "SORRY FOR THE INVASION OF PERSONAL SPACE, BUT HOLY SHIT ITS FUCK YOUR FACE!" i was absolutely cracking up
Score: 17
On the lawn at Great Woods '99, this fucked up guy asked me where peak #42 was. He was tripping so hard it made me uncomfortable. I just pointed as far away from me as possible and said "That way". I wouldn't nothing to do with that dude.
Score: 3
Gainesville FL, 11/3/961-2 rows behind us. **puff** **puff** "Dude, that's schwag!"
"Yeah. So?"
"But this is the kind bowl. You don't put schwag in the kind bowl!"
"But we're out."
"Oh. But you don't put schwag in the kind bowl! We've got to get some kind bud."
"But we're out."
"Oh. I know, Shapiro! We've got to find Shapiro! He'll have the kind bud we can put in the kind bowl. Lets go find Shapiro."
And up they went. Don't know if they ever found him (remember this in the days before cell phones...)
Score: 11
Not quite from a show, but it fits:I was reading a review some fan wrote about one of the LP releases, and he referred to a show from 2000 as "old-school Phish."
Is 1.0 officially referred to as "old school" now????
My first reaction was to think the guy was a dumbass. But after thinking about it, it's true that 1.0 has been over for ten years. Shit, maybe he's right.
Score: 1
2000 is not old school Phish. Not like I'm the authority or anything, but N.F.W.I'd say 93-95 is the latest you could possibly classify as old school, and that is a tremendous stretch. Some of 94 - 95 had that old feel, but its clearly medium-school at best.
Or one might call everything prior to space funk '97 as old school. But thats for the dirty libs with no standards or respect for history.
If pressed, I think I'd go with '92 and prior as old school.
Nice can o' worms ya got there, Barry!
Score: 4
@johnnyd said: 2000 is not old school Phish. Not like I'm the authority or anything, but N.F.W.95 and back.
I'd say 93-95 is the latest you could possibly classify as old school, and that is a tremendous stretch. Some of 94 - 95 had that old feel, but its clearly medium-school at best.
Or one might call everything prior to space funk '97 as old school. But thats for the dirty libs with no standards or respect for history.
If pressed, I think I'd go with '92 and prior as old school.
Nice can o' worms ya got there, Barry!
Score: 1
Thanks for backing me up, Johnny! I know you can't really define what "old-school" is, but man, I was totally taken aback seeing someone refer to 2000 that way.It's funny, and it makes you think.
To try and get perspective, I thought back to when I got into the Dead in the late '80s, and if I referred to, say, Cornell '77 as old-school. I don't think I did. In fact, I don't think I ever referred to ANY Dead show as old-school!
Score: 0
Is this the 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 argument again? I'll never really understand it. I thought it was simple: epochs separated by hiatuses.
Score: 1
@ivy_light said: Is this the 1.0, 2.0, 3.0 argument again? I'll never really understand it. I thought it was simple: epochs separated by hiatuses.There's no argument. Johnny just responded to my comment about 4 or 5 up.
Score: 0
@DrPeterVenkman said: 95 and back.Ya know, that was my first thought, my gut instinct. But then I thought that was too "-centric" to my own personal history. By the end of '95 I was totally down with the scene, the music, etc. Was totally at home. But of course there were many people that were way way deeper in than I. So how could I call that "old school?"
Plus, I cant quite wrap myself around calling Free, Taste, Theme - that generation of songs - old school. Junta and Lawn Boy - def old school. Nectar and Rift are certainly a next generation. Crap, Hoist was the original "new one" for me. And Billy Breathes was eagerly anticipated and hugely celebrated when we got our hot little hands on it.
I guess there are different spectrums within which one can make the comparison and add the label.
But when they use it on me, I'll reject it.
Score: 1
@johnnyd said: hot little handsi don't know why i feel this way, but i think this is a gross saying.
Score: 1
Guy next to my buddy tripping face - "You know man...sometimes Page just looks like a mad wizard man.." so true...
Score: 6
OK, I'll share a line that came out of my own mouth unintentionally - a really embarrassing Freudian slip. I was at a show with a friend who has a bunch of sisters all of whom I've met, and I'm always trying to keep her sisters straight as to who's who. One of her sisters, like me, plays the banjo. And she is a "naturopathic doctor." My friend knows I'm quite a skeptic about such things, but I normally hold my tongue.So she mentions her sister, and I say "oh, she's the one who plays doctor... I mean banjo!"
She thought it was hilarious.
Score: 14
someday i will overhear something awesome at a phish show
Score: 2
Going to Woostah exponentially increases the chances of this happening.Sorry. Also, duly noted on the turn of phrase up above there...its a little weird, I could see how it might gross someone out.
Score: 1
i just picture some weirdo creep saying it in a soft deepish voice while doing jazz hands
Score: 1
anybody notice the guy doing the crab walk at the end of coventry?
Score: 0
"yankees suck, yankees suck" chant going about a hundred strong walking out of great woods 99.not a line, but remember walking out of the went and someone started the "mooo" chant. had to be at least a thousand phans jumped on the mooo train. fuck that was funny. and then there was the random group cheering walking out that just grew and grew and grew. those moments get me all tingly.
oh and PS - I'm one of the guys who does the TERRY!! chant. Man, you should see how that pisses people off. get it, instead of "TREY!!" ... makes us/me look ignorant. Haha fuckers, jokes on you, i'm jusy messing. A bunch of us have been doing that for a long time. Call it a personal joke amongt 20 or so friends that never gets old .. haha
Score: 8
Alpine This Year....F*#K your Face is Starting ,I shout over to the guy next to me ...."F*#k Your Face" all Excited.....I turn away and hear him say to his Girlfriend...."Did he just tell me to Fuck Myself?"........I had to explain to him and we Both Laughed.
Score: 22
this year at allgood dude walked past announcing that he had the dankest anal beads in town. When I started to laugh his face turned serious and he pulled them out for us to look at. Then he went on his merry way, wonder if he ever sold them.
Score: 6
YO! He got Heady Beads!^^^^
Score: 1
@Trev_917 said: "Did I go to the show last night?" a close friend of mine after Deer Creek night 2 this past summer. He got into fight with Xanax and alcohol at about 10am that morning and it was all bad... We were four rows from the front as well what a waste of a memory.
That really sucks but I'm crackin' up.
Score: 0
Christ, this thread is hilarious.
Score: 5
"What are they saying? Hell is coming? This song is so dumb." On of my friend's girlfriend's friend started saying this during Halley's Comet at Hartford this year
Score: 9
I was a gov't mule show two haloweens ago, kinda lame they did a set of all rolling stones the same nite phish covered exile. reminded me of a bar band. anyway i can't remember what song they were playing, might have been angie. Anyway this dude behind me is rocking out, and i hear say "I Love this song... SHE TALKS TO ANGELLSSS." his buddy was like dude thats a black crows song. Guy was immediately bummed. sooo funny
Score: 4
Great Woods, '09, lot scene going on in its full glory, some dude is walking around with his friends yelling, "I GOT...NOTHING!!! Absolutely nothing here!!!" Fatty Dank NOTHING!!!" I think he was holding a blank cardboard sign too. We LOLd.
Score: 16
*hump-dee-bump*Keep 'em comin', people!
Score: 1
Festival 8, Halloween Night. my husband's best friend "Look at that pumpkin on the piano?"
me "that's not a pumpkin, that is Page's head"
in all honesty for a minute i thought it was a pumpkin too.
Score: 10
Hehe, Page kind of has a fat head compared to his skinny body. My wife was really surprised when she first saw him standing up. Her words:"Page looks like an orange on a toothpick."
Score: 3
@fluuff said: this year at allgood dude walked past announcing that he had the dankest anal beads in town. When I started to laugh his face turned serious and he pulled them out for us to look at. Then he went on his merry way, wonder if he ever sold them.No bullshit I got offered those beads by I bet the same guy. Sicker thing is, one of our campmates from Ohio actually wanted to borrow some money so HE could buy them. Yeap, just another day on the mountaintop in July.
At Raleigh last summer I took some of the green emerald fire I have been saving for over a year. Amy and I ripped the paper in half I dove in head first (which didn't take long). It was a night of pure laughter and fun. Here are some of the more memorable lines.
Amy "If they play Split Open and Melt I am running out of here right now as fast as I can before I actually split open and melt and make a huge mess!"
Me: "Excuse me sir, I believe you just stepped on my face puddle and some of it is stuck to your shoe"
Amy: "Does Fishman look like a chicken nugget with legs and arms, or is it just me?"
Honorable Mention: My buddy Yuri who during Pebbles and Marbles on 10/16 turned to his girlfriend and exclaimed that he was so excited he was afraid he was getting ready to "...barf and shit myself at the same time".
Score: 10
In Hartford back in 2000 this old black guy was going from car to car telling jokes for $1. Heres the one we got: What do you call a bunch of bulls in a filed jerking off? Beef Strokin off!I listened at a few other cars and he didn't tell the same joke twice! Way better than shaking a cup for spare change
Score: 12
Agreed this is the best thread I've read in a while. I really enjoyed the "medium school" segment. How does that fit between old and new school? Wouldn't that be junior high? Too funny!
Score: 0
ill change the thread here; Best Line Heard Outside of Dead Show:"a girl walks up to the car next to me after the show and says "im NEVER doing mushrooms again." and it was even funnier to me because i had eaten quite a bit of fungus that show as well!
Score: 2
We r 16th row center. Upon the conclusion of 12.6.97 II sickness:
Guy behind us (now known to be jr trimpe) screams very loudly as his contribution to the arena applause before the encore:
"This...is the sound...that makes me go nuts!"
Guy behind us (now known to be jr trimpe) screams very loudly as his contribution to the arena applause before the encore:
"This...is the sound...that makes me go nuts!"
Score: 1
as i was walking out of 2010 summer opener at toyota park after the show, a huge crowd was making their way to the lot and there was a strip of some shrubbery and everybody was stepping over the plants... one kid stepped on one of the plants and his friend, obviously trippin balls goes
"OMG!!! Dont step on the pretty plants you're going to hurt them!!"
"OMG!!! Dont step on the pretty plants you're going to hurt them!!"
Score: 4
wow... this thread made me laugh more than the time I fell down a flight of stairs...SPAC '10 during mangos, some girl behind me says..
"His hand's AND feet are mangos? That doesn't even make sense he couldn't even walk?!?"
Score: 5
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