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1) if it seems to good to be true, it probably is
2) common sense is your greatest knowledge
3) the best things in life are free (besides phishows)
2) common sense is your greatest knowledge
3) the best things in life are free (besides phishows)
Score: 2
Not everyone responds to "the shocker" the same way.
Score: 12
You can't always get what you wantNever let your dad tell you we aren't going to a show even if its 2 1/2 hours away on a school night. Happened to us with Utica.
Score: 3
people you love will hurt you
Score: 6
If someone with a gun tells you to dance. You dance.
Score: 2
Miracles are miracles for a reason....they never happen.
Score: 1
DON'T go cow tipping. As fun as it sounds, they kick. Hard.
Score: 1
Sarcasm, in written form, can cause really big problems.
Score: 6
you cant "outhink" the drugs you're on
Score: 7
paraphrasing the greatest philosopher of our time, homer simpsons, "when a woman says nothing's wrong, everything's wrong. when she says everything's wrong, then EVERYTHING'S wrong, and when a woman says something's not funny, you better not laugh your ass off!"
Score: 7
the cops never find it as funny as you dotruth is relative
Score: 4
If you always tell the truth you never have to remember anything.
Score: 16
Don't buy really cheap paint.Edit-Just remembered, "The timing method" is no substitute for communication between husband & wife.
Score: 1
Never eat week old KFC that has been sitting in the fridge (when it should be i the trash) in the middle of the night when you're drunk..... you will pay dearly hours later!
Score: 3
Don't ever tell jabba the hut that he looks like a big piece of poo.
Score: 0
Score: 1
Don't put twinkies on your pizza
Score: 2
discharge capacitors before attempting TV repair
Score: 4
Guitar amps can only handle a bass for a short time before blowing the speaker.
Score: 2
Whores will always be whores. A person cannot change them.Don't put up with shit from people because one day you may snap and choke them out in front of their children (grown adults). In this case it actually worked out for the better but not worth the hassle which ensued afterwards. Some people are just too uptight.
Score: 2
The same people you misuse on your way up, you might meet up, on your way down.
Score: 7
True that walstib.
Score: 1
Electricity hurts.
Score: 2
@walstib said: The same people you misuse on your way up, you might meet up, on your way down.forgot where you came from
now you straight illin’
don’t fight the feeling
you better deal with it
I see all the people I disrespected and try to make up. It's praise to the creator, relate to nature.
tryin to get over
you gonna go under
Score: 1
alcohol will not make your problems go away
Score: 6
@glade555 said: Miracles are miracles for a reason....they never happen.
Bull Shit. You call 3 nights (free) at Bethel not a miracle?
Score: 2
if youve been handling habanero peppers, wash your hands really well before going to the bathroom.
Score: 16
beer before liquor you'll never feel sicker liquor before beer you'll be in the clear in my highschool dayzz
Score: 0
@morticianphan said: if youve been handling habanero peppers, wash your hands really well before going to the bathroom.Also wait awhile before going down on your girlfriend...she wont appreciate it (horrifying true story)
Score: 3
remember to put the filter to your mouth when your smoking a bogey!
Score: 1
people will take advantage of your kindness
Score: 7
Once a cheater, always a cheater. I learned this one the hard way too.
Score: 10
A B.A. in Psychology is completely useless
Score: 1
fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me
Score: 6
@spasticdeadeyehound said: @morticianphan said:or before you put in/take out your contact lenses.....a very painful lessonif youve been handling habanero peppers, wash your hands really well before going to the bathroom.Also wait awhile before going down on your girlfriend...she wont appreciate it (horrifying true story)
Score: 1
@MJZ1974 said: Once a cheater, always a cheater. I learned this one the hard way too.I hear ya brother
Score: 1
@Frizz said: Electricity hurts.yes it does..when I was about 4 or 5, I stuck a screwdriver in a socket..
Score: 0
Don't play tackle football in the backyard of someone who doesn't clean up after their dogs.
Score: 4
Milk is made for baby cows...not humans.
Score: 3
@forbin1 said: @Frizz said:I put my finger between the prongs of my stereo plug when I was 5 or 6 and tried to plug it in. needless to say it got my attentionElectricity hurts.yes it does..when I was about 4 or 5, I stuck a screwdriver in a socket..
Score: 2
Don't try to overcome your severe fear of heights by going on a 4 hr plane flight with 150 other people and you're sitting in a window seat. Sorry again to the man in the isle seat.
Score: 1
what goes up must come down...
Score: 2
A week is a month and an hour a day
Score: 8
Think we will actually get to 1001 on this? That would be great!
Score: 2
@timeforthemeatstick said:
people will take advantage of your kindnessso true, almost changed me as a person, got really cold after a few bad times relating to this. on my way back now to a happier place.
Score: 2
We want you to be.....Happy!
Score: 2
even the sun shines on a dogs ass some days...
Score: 1
Cook and love with reckless abandon
