@_________________________ said:

I wake up the girl for round two, and then proceed to blow the bathroom up.

that is awesome

Back to the cruise ship after me and my father in law were arrested for pissing off a trolley on an excursion

@Slothberries said:

That's adorable.

@Slothberries said:

@_________________________ said:

lets hear some stories about the worst walk of shame you have had to endure,. No shoes? no shirt? no service? rain? snow? no car? flat tire? no cash? forgotten inserted anal beads?

I'll start....

so this past Saturday, I got laid for the first time in a long time. I met the girl at a local bar like eight blocks from my place. So she gets me to leave the bar by asking if I wanted to smoke. So we get into a cab and she ends of living in the next town over that is on a huge cliff above my town. I realize I have only four dollars and figure not to worry about getting home until at least the morning. So I end up waking up at five in the morning, I wake up the girl for round two, and then proceed to blow the bathroom up. IO had to search the apartment for TP since the girl had fallen asleep. So i get dressed and leave and just walk in the general direction of where I live. It ended up being like a mile and a half and it took me like forty minutes. I sure was beat when I got home

broke-ass mo-fo

I spent all of my getting drunk enough to make it acceptable for my drunk ass to bag the chik, lol. I posted that picture of the cat on the fence on my walk back, lol

@lefty said:

@_________________________ said:

I wake up the girl for round two, and then proceed to blow the bathroom up. IO had to search the apartment for TP since the girl had fallen asleep.

Hahah nice. Stay classy, Jordan!

I have been on medicine that f***s with my stomach, so I will go two days with out shitting and then it all comes out at inopportune times

@_________________________ said:

@Slothberries said:

@_________________________ said:

lets hear some stories about the worst walk of shame you have had to endure,. No shoes? no shirt? no service? rain? snow? no car? flat tire? no cash? forgotten inserted anal beads?

I'll start....

so this past Saturday, I got laid for the first time in a long time. I met the girl at a local bar like eight blocks from my place. So she gets me to leave the bar by asking if I wanted to smoke. So we get into a cab and she ends of living in the next town over that is on a huge cliff above my town. I realize I have only four dollars and figure not to worry about getting home until at least the morning. So I end up waking up at five in the morning, I wake up the girl for round two, and then proceed to blow the bathroom up. IO had to search the apartment for TP since the girl had fallen asleep. So i get dressed and leave and just walk in the general direction of where I live. It ended up being like a mile and a half and it took me like forty minutes. I sure was beat when I got home

broke-ass mo-fo

I spent all of my getting drunk enough to make it acceptable for my drunk ass to bag the chik, lol. I posted that picture of the cat on the fence on my walk back, lol

haha. you mean the car?

good for you for getting laid.

and while we're sharing WOS stories.....

i dont know if this is a walk of shame as much as it is a Drive of shame. years ago i met this girl at a beach bar in the hamptons. it turns out that we had group of mutual friends (which made getting laid easier). we go back to her place, do the deed and pass out.

so im driving home from her place the next morning and the only thing that i can i smell is her...how do i say this nicely...femininity?

anyway, the source of the smell was my fingers. im sorry, i know this is disgusting...haha. anyway, they smelled really bad and were making me nauseous, so i stuck my hand out the window and drove home the rest of the way like that. of course it was my right hand, so i must have looked pretty stupid with my arm going across my body and hanging out the window. shameful, indeed

I might as well continue with the rest of the story.

despite her horrible, nauseating hygiene, i decided to give her another chance. afterall, she was pretty hot, and pretty cool and we had a great time. i didnt want to condemn her based on one incident that could have easily stemmed from drinking beer and sweating all day on the beach in the middle of August. so i went out with her later in the week.

long story short....she was just as disgusting as she was on the first night. i ran out of there as fast as i could and never called her again. of course, i finished the job first. no need to get blue balls over this.

@_________________________ said:

so this past Saturday, I got laid for the first time in a long time.

Nice.

I posted that picture of the cat on the fence on my walk back, lol

I find this almost equally awesome.

@johnnyd said:

@_________________________ said:

so this past Saturday, I got laid for the first time in a long time.

Nice.

Nice.

My freshman year of college, I was walking back from this girls apartment to my dorm on a Sunday morning, beginning to transition from drunk to hungover. It was maybe a mile and a half walk and along the way I was dying to piss and yak up the previous nights beer and jello shots, so i'm looking for somewhere with a bathroom and eventually stumble into an IHOP

so I walk in to ask the hostess where the bathroom is and get some coffee and she is kind enough to point out that I would not be able to pay for the coffee I wanted because I didn't have pants on, just my boxer shorts. I remembered my shoes, hell they were even tied. Completely forgot to put my pants on though.

So there I am standing in IHOP with no pants, and in front of their after church crowd all dressed i'm their Sunday best. So i'm thinking ok I'll pull out my phone and call the girl to pick me up, but my phone was in my pants. So I had to walk the mile or so back to her apartment now aware I had no pants, phone, money, or ID

Not my finest moment

Halloween this year. Walked home from my friends house with bellbottoms and a bright orange un buttoned dress shirt. Dragging a 3/4 empty case of PBR.

Earlier this week I woke up face down on the floor of the same house. Rode my bike home still drunk, in front of the whole streets elementary school age group and their parents. That was like death row. So much judgement.

Greatest thread alert!

Not to me, I always manage to be at my place, but to this day, I see em all the time.

Surfing in Newport, early on a regular basis has shown me WOS all the time. To set the stage, Newport is party central, bar hopping, tourist chicks, scum, the pit of a peninsula that rages year round. Only Isla Vista in Santa Barbara can come close. Newport is for slutty chicks of all types and all the different guys they want to hook up with. 4th of July is an absolute scene, google it.

Anyway, I surf early all the time and love a good walk o' shame, these girls are always bummed cause we chat em up and ask em about last night as they pass us. The best was a few years back- epic stripper type, tall blondy with some bolt on's is walking our way in a tight T-shirt, holding her high heels, that's it. She knows the shirts too small to be a short skirt and decides, f*** it, give these guys a thrill. Shoulda had a camera. She was cool and laughed it off as we ribbed her on the situation she was in at 6 am. She had no answer for us when asked- "where'd your clothes go? That T doesn't go with those stripper shoes"

@FluffyAntelopeHead wins... sadly.

more detailed stories please.

@Busta_Move said:

Rothbury 09. I was strung out, and didn't bring anything. Detoxed from heroin during the festival. I was doing tons of other drugs, and on one of the nights I had consumed tons of Molly, Xanax & alcohol. I laid down for a bit & woke up having to pee. I started peeing immediately.....in my pants. The kicker was that my tent was all the way on the other side of the festival grounds, so I had to walk all of the way back to my tent all dazed & in soaked pants.

You should have just gone naked at that point... but then again, its not like anyone was keeping score the morning after a giant fest

I passed out while getting dome from a smokin' UO track girl. Still not sure if my passing-out was due to the booze or the euphoria. In any case, she and her roommates made me breakfast the next morning. Then we blazed and watched Dragonheart. So to answer OP's question, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

The summer between my freshman and sophomore year in college I was home visiting with old friends. We head to a party at someone's house on a lake. I don't know the kid who lived there, but I knew most of the people at the party from HS.

So it's on a lake, there's a boat, and a few of us decide to paddle out for a bit. I think there were four or five people in the boat. It's dusk and we're partying out in this boat and eventually we all jump in to skinny dip, clothes in the boat. Then the time comes to return to the boat. It's tricky getting back in, but we manage to get two in the boat. The third person starts to climb in and sure enough they rock back and forth too far and the boat flips.

All the clothes got thrown into the water or are sucked under in the flip. We were all scrambling to find clothes. At the time I wore glasses, which I had tucked into my shorts pocket, which weighted down my shorts, they were gone right away, pretty sure. I remember grabbing some clothes but none were mine. Everyone lost something, but I had lost EVERYTHING. I didn't have anything to wear. We tried to flip the boat, but couldn't, so we pulled it half sunk to shore.

Once there I had the ultimate walk of shame. Immediately emerging from the lake, we are in the back yard which is the center of the party. 50, maybe 60, people are at this party and I have to walk through everyone to first get my purse/keys and then to my car, totally naked and soaking wet. Plus I know most of them from HS, it's not like I'm anonymous. At least I was with others who were partially naked too, that helped, i guess. And remember those glasses that sunk, I was blind. Like 20/400 blind and it was well into dusk at this point. Granted the darkness was my only savior in the moment.

I can't cover everything, should I run? Naked running? Seinfeld'd. f***!

Quickly walking I finally arrived, humiliated, at my car. But now I had to drive and I needed those glasses to see! Then I remember I have prescription sun glasses, those will have to do. Here I am, driving home completely naked wearing sun glasses at night, hoping I didn't get pulled over. I also had some explaining to do when I got home.

@westbrook said:

Damn those heavy glasses! @Bathtub_Ginny

Little shorts.
lasik baby, lasik!

@_________________________ said:

I helped myself to a binger before I left because she we didn't smoke before the dong off

Another story, I once was doing a bunch of K with a buddy and got a text from a girl looking to get down so I went over but not before busting a fat line. She had just come from a costume party and she was dressed as a dominatrix. She I walk in, kiss her and strip down to my boxers. She climbed on top of me and I bugged because of the chains and went to the bathroom to give myself a pep talk. I go back to her room and attempt to get back to business but then I make the desicion that I wasn't going to be able to have sex. So she kicks me out and I had a pretty fun walk home where I played super Nintendo and listened to phish

dude story of my f***ing life

The walk back to the highway to retrieve our car after the disaster that was Coventry.

@FARKUS said:

i pissed a girls bed and tried to blame it on her

the summer before college I went to a party with a friend where I didn't know anyone. It was his best friend from catholic school's party. So my buddy ends up leaving and I stay and end up hooking up with this chik on a futon in the basement. I woke up and both of us are completely soaked so I get up and fall asleep on the hardwood floor in the living room and then caught a ride home from someone so I could go to work. Never saw the girl agwin, lol

Went to a party in college at a house a couple of girls rented. Had not met them at all prior to going. Ended up getting drunk, flirting with one of the girls who lived there, making out, intercoursing, passing out.

The next morning said chick says, "I was contemplating suicide until I met you"

"aaah, I've got to go..."

I walk out to find my car completely buried in snow. There was an alternate side parking policy during the winter and the city would pile all of the snow on one side, while cars were supposed to be parked on the other.

I was on the wrong side of the street so the city guys proceeded to bury my car. I had no shovel or any real winter gear to be digging it out. But I began to dig, as fast as I could, to get the hell away from that house.

FYI -The chick is still alive, she found me on facebook. She is also still crazy.

The night before Christmas Eve I was at a friend’s party and my ex-girlfriend from high school shows up. We ended up going back to my parent’s house (sophomore year of college) – yada yada.

We wake up in the morning and I drive her back to my buddy’s house to get her car. I say good bye, talk to you later, that was nice, etc., and begin backing out the drive way. BACKED RIGHT INTO THE DITCH alongside the road. Can’t get my car out, have to wait for a tow truck in which time friends of ours start showin up to get their cars, and see my total F’d up situation and just start ripping into me. I have to endure the ridicule for the next 2 hours waiting for the tow truck, and then go home and receive more shit from my mom because why? - it is Xmas eve.

almost got killed in a car accident bc I was still drunk when I gave the girl from my last night's endeavors a ride home this morning. knocked an experience of the old bucket list last night....

/jungle feaver'd

It was summer between first and second years of college. I had gone home for a while but decided I wanted to go back to my college town and party with friends for a few days without the pressure of having to be sober enough to go to class. It's about a 3 1/2 hour drive from my parents' house to college town, and I drop a hit of good 'cid on the way. Once I get there, I am full on tripping balls. I had forgotten to eat so I go to a local convience store and get some potato wedges. I must have eaten 10 or 12 of those things because I thought I was starved. I didn't tell any of my friends at school that I was coming up and I just wandered around for a while tripping and doing stupid sh**. After a while I felt sick and I threw up all those potato wedges right next to the student union. If you have ever vomited while your tripping you know that is definitely an unforgettable experience. My vision was blurred all to hell and I was thrown for a loop. I started to get a little freak out going on so I thought I'd go to one of my friends' houses to chill.

I get there and party for the rest of the night and I pass out on a couch. I wake up early the next morning and decide to get the hell out of there and go back to the house I was renting. I didn't have my car so I had to walk, it was about 2 miles, part of it up a big ass hill. On the way, I realize I have to take a sh**. It's EARLY on a Sunday, I think, and there is no public bathroom open anywhere. I am tired as hell, hungover, and still sort of tripping. It really got to be a dire situation cause every step I took up that long ass hill made me have to take a crap. Eventually, I sh** my pants. I had no choice. I had to walk the rest of the way, up hill, about 1/2 mile, with shi**y drawers. Definitely a walk of shame.