So I figure I will share with you all why I am a "Lucky Idiot". So I had a flat tire the other night, replaced it with my emergency spare, and like a moron threw my old tire next to the community dumpster. The next day as I am waiting at the tire shop the worker says to me "Sir, we checked the trunk and the rim is not anywhere. Do you have it?" (In a panic I realized that I threw the tire away with the rim) As i get back to the dumpster knowing it was 24 hrs later at this point and the trash pick up is always at the buttcrack of dawn I look where I left the tire. It is now on the ground with the dumpster on top of it, I tried to pull it out, dig it out, shake, push and move the dumpster. Nothing! So I grab my tire jack and jack the back of the dumpster up and grab the tire. Meanwhile people are stopping and throwing in trash as the dumpster is moving to a Relfex Angle. Needless to say I am one lucky Idiot, I was also able to unjack the dumpster and get my jack back. :For this I am Constanza, Lord of all idiots"

I'd say you win, but here's one of my own. I'm sure others have similar lucky fool stories, so why don't we all share? A few months ago my wife and I took a weekend-long trip to North Carolina. I took off work early so that I could go home and load up the car, pick up our baby, then pick up my wife. Now, I took off in plenty of time to have a puff or two and hang around the house for a couple hours before I had to pack. The only thing my wife told me I had to do besides load the car was to feed our cat. Simple task, right? Well, after loading the car, I was feeling pretty good about myself, and decided to just go ahead and pick up the baby.

About 2 hours down the road, my wife asked me if I fed the cat. At that point I realized that I totally had not, and I really did feel miserable. We were too far down the road to turn back, so my wife called her dad and asked him to go to our house the next day and break in by pushing the window unit AC (there had been some problems with that AC, and the landlord said he hadn't put it in, and therefore would not fix it, so we really didn't care if it broke). I felt awful, and was like "man, I'm never gonna live this one down."

A few days after we returned home my wife told me that her father called the morning of the planned break-in, and let her know that I had straight up left all of the doors to the house unlocked. Break-in was averted, the cat was fed, but I didn't feel like any less of an idiot!