Dear Wilson,

I think you've gotten a bad rap over the years. Yeah, you and the AC/DC bag have put folks to death from time to time, but I mean really, if the Lizards are dumb enough that they need the Helping Phriendly Book at all hours of the day to govern all aspects of their lives, they pretty much deserve to be subjugated.

I mean, I could only imagine how frustrating it would be to be in charge of an entire race of people who need a "mountain prophet" to tell them whether or not their ass is actually a hole in the ground.

If there's anything I can do to assist you with your rebel problem please let me know. I have very creative torture techniques and I am well versed in breaking the spirit of the people.

Sincerely,
- The C. Hogchoker

Dear Willson,

Is there anyway I could borrow a multibeast?

MrMiller

::starts thread "An open letter to open letters"::

::admonishes C, E, F, G, H for not being closed like O, B, P, and Q, or at least partially closed like A::

I, for one, welcome our new Prussian overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

@spaced said:

I, for one, welcome our new Prussian overlords. I�d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

Classic Kent Brockman.

Here's some more:

Ken Brockman: What started out as a traditional soccer riot has quickly escalated into a city-wide orgy of destruction. Reacting swiftly, Mayor Quimby declared "mob rule", meaning for the next several years, it's every family for themselves.

Kent Brockman: [Voicing over a frontal shot of the Simpsons' home, during a news broadcast] Of course, there's no way to see into the Simpson home without some kind of infrared heat-sensitive camera. So let's turn it on!
[Shot suddenly changes to an xray-like image of the house, with two distinct orange heat sources. One is the entire Simpson family, including Homer, sitting on the couch, the other is a turkey-shaped silhouette rotating in the oven]
Kent Brockman: Now, this technology is new to me, but I'm pretty sure that's Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly.
[Camera zooms in for a clear shot of the turkey]
Kent Brockman: His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees - he's literally stewing in his own juices.

Kent Brockman: Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for Philosophy majors - useful people are starting to feel the pinch.

Dear mr king of prussa,
You the man
Dun dun dun dun
Wilsonnnnnnnn,
Dave

I wonder what Wilson thinks about that poser Frederick

Dear Wilson,

Your shopping mall is too fancy. Please put in an arcade and a Spencer's.

Cheers,
Raj and Pete

@spacecoyote said:

Dear Wilson,

Your shopping mall is too fancy. Please put in an arcade and a Spencer's.

Cheers,
Raj and Pete

Wait a second... the original "Gamehenge" was a mall arcade? Never thought of that, it makes total sense, considering the song's origins.