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...on 28th phriend talks during 'tube' and other glorious songs...
...on 29th several disappointing preshow actions including poor communication and general lack of respect or concept of timing...
...30th gets so wasted drunk during first half of first set, gets kicked out of msg altogether for belligerence, one phriend goes with to take care of wasted phriend, misses whole show. Post show instead of relaxing or partying the rest of crew has to find drunk messy friend who has run away from care taking phriend. Finally find friend and have to take back to apt, hardly apology or anything. Wack!
Back at apt what goes down, friend pours another drink.
...next morning I gingerly approach alcohol problem. I was not gonna let this happen within my crew ever again. Oh, did I mention this was not the first time phriend did this drunkin ness. Phriend explodes, goes to leave with bags packed. Other phriend, and significant other, convince phriend to stay. Phriend grumps all day and night, despite attempts at reconciliation, really tries to ruin nye!
But, the crew was already done with it. We had absolute blast, right in front of phriends eyes.
Did I make right moves? I truly feel bad, I never want to tell people what to do...i live by the phish mantra to surrender to the flow. But sometimes enuff is enuff.
Thoughts? Advice?
...on 29th several disappointing preshow actions including poor communication and general lack of respect or concept of timing...
...30th gets so wasted drunk during first half of first set, gets kicked out of msg altogether for belligerence, one phriend goes with to take care of wasted phriend, misses whole show. Post show instead of relaxing or partying the rest of crew has to find drunk messy friend who has run away from care taking phriend. Finally find friend and have to take back to apt, hardly apology or anything. Wack!
Back at apt what goes down, friend pours another drink.
...next morning I gingerly approach alcohol problem. I was not gonna let this happen within my crew ever again. Oh, did I mention this was not the first time phriend did this drunkin ness. Phriend explodes, goes to leave with bags packed. Other phriend, and significant other, convince phriend to stay. Phriend grumps all day and night, despite attempts at reconciliation, really tries to ruin nye!
But, the crew was already done with it. We had absolute blast, right in front of phriends eyes.
Did I make right moves? I truly feel bad, I never want to tell people what to do...i live by the phish mantra to surrender to the flow. But sometimes enuff is enuff.
Thoughts? Advice?
Score: 1
Drunken assholes ruin shows. It sounds like your friend doesn't have very good show etiquette to begin with and if they can't control their drinking at shows i'd suggest not inviting them again in the future. If they get mad tell them that and maybe they'll get their act together.
Score: 1
Surrendering to the flow and substance abuse are two different things. I feel for ya.
Score: 4
@HARRYHOOD213 said: Surrendering to the flow and substance abuse are two different things. I feel for ya.
Score: 1
@llama, "Other phriend, and significant other, convince phriend to stay"; his significant other?
Hmmm so taking care of friend was his girlfriend? Sounds like he's in love with her, and she's scheming for new cock. Driving dude nuts. Unless you want to fcuk his girl give him a break, or don't; regardless his behavior will be modded by the universe soon enough just be careful you don't get modded.
Score: 0
It sounds like your friend isn't a Phish fan. Stop bringing him to shows.
Score: 4
My firm policy.....I will work to care for an intoxicated friend ONCE....get them through it.....have a good laugh the next day......after that they are on their own. I think some people feed on the attention and expect that there will always be someone behind them cleaning up after their drunken stupor mess. I understand that everyone has a moment or two in their life where they get out of hand and need a bit of help.....at the point where it becomes a pattern, I am done.
edit: easy to say because I wasn't involved....but I think I would have let that person leave when their bags were packed...it just feeds the beast to talk them into staying so you can care for them the next night
Score: 5
Nothing more annoying than having to babysit drunk people...::rolls to shows solo::
Score: 4
Sounds like your looking for an excuse to f*** dudes girl
Score: 1
If anything.....the "significant other" has to eventually get sick of it all and roll outnot too many sugar magnolias out there.....takes the wheel when I'm seeing double....pays my tickets when I speed
Score: 0
I guess now that I re-read....OP was talking about his significant other.....first time through I was assuming that drunk guy had a significant otherAt any rate.....I had a friend one time who would always be "that guy" at shows.....one night after he was already dosed to the gills he kept bugging me for more.....I handed him the dropper just to get him off my back.....turn around for a second and look back....dude has fluff running down this chin and is trying to wipe some off...huge wet spot on his pants where he tried to wipe off the spill.....this stuff was top of the line fluff and he is throwing it around like it is water....took care of his spun ass that night cuz I should have known better than to hand him the whole tit....after that, no more tit for him....anyone who turns themselves into a walking chemical spill should never hold the tit ever again
Score: 1
@llama said: ...on 28th phriend talks during 'tube' and other glorious songs...Shitty phucking phriend!
...on 29th several disappointing preshow actions including poor communication and general lack of respect or concept of timing...
...30th gets so wasted drunk during first half of first set, gets kicked out of msg altogether for belligerence, one phriend goes with to take care of wasted phriend, misses whole show. Post show instead of relaxing or partying the rest of crew has to find drunk messy friend who has run away from care taking phriend. Finally find friend and have to take back to apt, hardly apology or anything. Wack!
Back at apt what goes down, friend pours another drink.
...next morning I gingerly approach alcohol problem. I was not gonna let this happen within my crew ever again. Oh, did I mention this was not the first time phriend did this drunkin ness. Phriend explodes, goes to leave with bags packed. Other phriend, and significant other, convince phriend to stay. Phriend grumps all day and night, despite attempts at reconciliation, really tries to ruin nye!
But, the crew was already done with it. We had absolute blast, right in front of phriends eyes.
Did I make right moves? I truly feel bad, I never want to tell people what to do...i live by the phish mantra to surrender to the flow. But sometimes enuff is enuff.
Thoughts? Advice?
Score: 0
Ha ha "intolerance is evidence of impotence" Crowley
Score: 0
I think your friend might be a wook.
Score: 2
@WordsFromASong said: @HARRYHOOD213 said:Definitely this. Seems like they are intentionally (or at least strongly subconsciously) french fry-ing when they should be pizza-ing.Surrendering to the flow and substance abuse are two different things. I feel for ya.
I'd definitely give serious consideration to ever going to a show with this person again. Who the hell needs drama like that?
Score: 1
@llama, with all respect, could you please provide more background? I just don't understand why it's op's problem? Unless there is more to this than is being told. Firm believer in all is fair in love and war; trolling this thread waiting to hear more details.
Future reference in my humble opinion:
Dudes talking during set tell him to shut the f*** up, dude gets messy why do you have to look after him gotta let him
go, dude wants to act like a baby and go home then let him, dude blows up at you for expressing genuine concern, WHY DO YOU STILL CARE? Unless its guilt for something else. That's what my intuition says, i'd be interested to know if I'm close at all.
I also feel like this "phriend" is a bully, probably of above average size, average to below average intelligence, he sounds manipulative and controlling, his sig other is caught in a trap, sounds like llama is the intellectual superior but possibly has some issues with a physical altercation. Ha ha ha; am I close?
Score: 1
Ok. Wow sorry I had to work. First, phriend is a chick. second, I'm happy married man, to extremely funky phishy lady. If it was a dude, I would have left this person in the dust a long time ago. But she truely does love phish and can b a great phriend when sober. it was her boyfriend that kept her from leaving the day of nye, the rest of crew was ready to focus on phish and rage a night. I guess I have a soft spot for phriend because she's from my hometown, and since re acquainting a few years ago, at a phish show, she seemed like she was in need of some positive friendships. And that's what my wife and i were looking for too.
Thanks for all the thoughts, i know i did what i thought was right, maybe i could have waited till after nye, but i couldn't wait. Remember this was the night after the 30th so I'm thinking, "u just missed that phreaking carini, that's unacceptable."
Thanks for all the thoughts, i know i did what i thought was right, maybe i could have waited till after nye, but i couldn't wait. Remember this was the night after the 30th so I'm thinking, "u just missed that phreaking carini, that's unacceptable."
Score: 2
Sounds like you made the best, most mature, responsible choice in a crappy situation. This person is lucky you are there for them, but it sounds like you need to re-evaluate so you dont get walked all over - whether she is doing it intentionally or not. How often do we get to see a show - arguably the most fun possible thing we can be doing? You don't want to spend half the next festival holding her hand through detox in the med tent.
Score: 1
@llama said: [quote]Ok. Wow sorry I had to work. First, phriend is a chick. second, I'm happy married man, to extremely funky phishy lady. If it was a dude, I would have left this person in the dust a long time ago. But she truely does love phish and can b a great phriend when sober. it was her boyfriend that kept her from leaving the day of nye, the rest of crew was ready to focus on phish and rage a night. I guess I have a soft spot for phriend because she's from my hometown, and since re acquainting a few years ago, at a phish show, she seemed like she was in need of some positive friendships. And that's what my wife and i were looking for too. Thanks for all the thoughts, i know i did what i thought was right, maybe i could have waited till after nye, but i couldn't wait. Remember this was the night after the 30th so I'm thinking, "u just missed that phreaking carini, that's unacceptable."[/quote
Wow. Blew my mind man. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Score: 0
@careful_w_that_axe_Miller said:
@llama said: [quote]Ok. Wow sorry I had to work. First, phriend is a chick. second, I'm happy married man, to extremely funky phishy lady. If it was a dude, I would have left this person in the dust a long time ago. But she truely does love phish and can b a great phriend when sober. it was her boyfriend that kept her from leaving the day of nye, the rest of crew was ready to focus on phish and rage a night. I guess I have a soft spot for phriend because she's from my hometown, and since re acquainting a few years ago, at a phish show, she seemed like she was in need of some positive friendships. And that's what my wife and i were looking for too.so yes. U were very close.haha
Thanks for all the thoughts, i know i did what i thought was right, maybe i could have waited till after nye, but i couldn't wait. Remember this was the night after the 30th so I'm thinking, "u just missed that phreaking carini, that's unacceptable."[/quote
Wow. Blew my mind man. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
Score: 0
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