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I’ve been working on my own functional definition of what makes a jam “all time” vs. “great.” A lot of people talk about jams so synced up that they sound “composed.” I think there’s a lot there, but I would add that a great jam has a sense of inevitability about it - as if, among the endless number of paths they could have gone down, they picked all the right ones at all the right points.
Lest this sound like a tautology (since once a jam has been played, it can only and forever have been played exactly that way), I find myself frequently noting places in jams where I think “that jam would have gone from spectacular to perfect if they had only done X instead of Y at this one point.” For example, there’s a moment at the end of the 10/20/21 Ruby Waves where I’m convinced that, if they had followed this one thread that Trey and Page hit on for a matter of, like 2 seconds, then the truth of the universe would have made itself known to all.
For me, the best of the best jams leave no room for “I wish they had just….”
Edit to add: see thoughts from @itsice88 about the Mann Carini at https://forum.phish.net/forum/permalink/1379661142
Somewhat confoundingly, my personal definition also requires that, despite the sense of inevitability, there is never a sense of stagnation or predictability upon multiple relistens. I.e., despite the fact that you know what’s coming next because you’ve heard it a million times, it never stops being surprising. The death metal reggae of the 7/14/19 Ruby Waves and the dreamlike section of the 12/30/19 Tweezer are just two fairly recent examples that people like to cite, and that I feel meet this criterion.
OP - I am also 4 years into my second Phish infatuation, and the attempt to recognize/capture/describe the ineffable (as you are doing here) is a huge part of what drives my listening and some of my favorite Forum content. I especially love learning about what other people cite as their own “all time jams” when they also provide an explanation for how/why it checks the boxes for them. Such a great way to learn about all the different varieties of phan experiences and listening styles, and to (frequently!) learn how to listen to and appreciate a jam that may not have “landed” for you upon first listen.