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Introduction)
Undermind is unlike anything they've done before or since. They were really trying to say something with this one. It's so thematically cohesive and earnest. Lyrically, each song is so vivid and colorful in my mind. Although not as many tracks stand out compositionally, or in flashiness... the boys made up for it in pure poetry and earnestness. I view the album as a tribute and serious exploration of our motto: surrender to the flow. Listening to it all the way through gives me a feeling I can't quite describe... it’s still phish, but also something more. I'm reminded of flickering candlelight or a conversation with a forgotten friend. Melancholy, gratitude, a slight hollowness, humility, and tiny sparks of joy. It truly evokes all the moments between the many peaks and valleys of life, sonically and lyrically. I hope that this little informal essay can deepen your appreciation of the album and phish as a whole!
Undermind and addiction)
On the surface it's quite surprising the themes and ideas they chose to explore here given the album was conceived during the darkest period of the band’s history; Trey was becoming more and more selfish and insufferable. 'an asshole' by his own admission.
Or maybe it's not so surprising. He did, in fact, get better and part of me feels like this album was a cry from his soul; what it was truly longing for at the time, what he had lost in his addiction.
As a struggling addict myself, songs like ‘Scents and Subtle Sounds’ or ‘Access Me’ have resonated very deeply. ‘Two versions of me’ floored me the first time I heard it; I felt like it was addressed directly to me. 'Secret Smile' never fails to turn me into a sobbing mess who wants to improve as a son, brother, and human being. I listened to ‘Nothing’ on repeat for months when I was in the depths of my struggles. ‘Undermind's’ strange juxtapositions and proclamations made just enough sense to mean something deeply profound and insightful. I could get into the specifics of why each individual song is so meaningful to me, but that’s not the purpose of this post.
The album has been a salve for my soul, and the songwriting contains bits of wisdom that seem to directly combat some of the lies we tell ourselves as addicts. Trey got very vulnerable in a way we'll never see again. And whether intentional or not, I'm convinced that the toll his addiction had taken morally, physically, and emotionally, contributed to the earnest tone and intimacy of the album. When you're that far into hell, the part of you that knows you're probably gonna die is taking over. Most of you doesn't care that you’re losing yourself and everything you used to believe or love'.
But part of you is still clinging to your humanity. A tiny part of you still affirms life. And if there's one phrase I'd use to describe undermind, it's 'life-affirming.’
This isn’t a coincidence.
What does surrendering to the flow mean?)
From my very first listen to 'The Lizards', that cryptic chant has fascinated me. I’ve always found myself coming back to think about what it means. It’s cryptic enough to allow for mystery and magic in its interpretation, yet something universal and powerful lies at its core. With only a few words it manages to completely and totally capture the essence of Phish.
Indeed, one of the most powerful moments I’ve ever had the privilege of experiencing happened during the NYE Gamehendge show 'The Lizards'. I saw my own and others' tears, laughter, and wails of joy. You could feel the excitement reach a fever pitch just before Trey led us in those magic words ‘The trick was to surrender to the flow.’ As it happened, all things were completely right with the world. Some people were hugging. Some people had their arms raised to the heavens in worship. I distinctly remember shaking my head as I looked in disbelief at the rhombus, sobbing. I said to myself “Of course, of course, it always was’ as the line vibrated through us. The power in the room in that instant was undeniable. We all affirmed and celebrated that moment in its entirety.
Yes, it’s nonsense, yes, it’s silly. Of course.
And yet we traveled hundreds or even thousands of miles to hear them uttered, to chant them together. And yet, it’s persisted in our minds for over 40 years. That's undeniable.
In that moment, and I know you’ve all felt it, the meaning of that line transcends understanding, becoming obvious and tangible. You surrender to the flow when you affirm, embrace, and celebrate the present moment. You affirm reality and even the universe.
Undermind, and the phish ethos in the context of addiction)
As you listen to Undermind, keep the phrase ‘surrender to the flow’ in your head. Each song comes at the idea from a different angle, exploring it in a new way. In Trey's darkest hour, our tribal mantra found its way back into his art in a very profound way. Addiction is isolating, soul-destroying, and it convinces you that life has nothing to offer. Color is drained from all things. Life itself becomes a parody of itself; any given moment is just another opportunity to escape from it. It’s difficult to imagine any interpretation of ‘surrender to the flow’ that is compatible with addiction. How can you surrender to the flow when life has become so unbearable that you have to escape from it completely?
Taking Undermind in this context, I don't think it's an accident the most contemplative and intimate album was created during the band's darkest days. I'm unsure if this was intentional or not, but as things literally imploded, I’m convinced that the captain turned to our silly yet profound philosophy of 'surrendering to the flow’ for inspiration. It was the philosophy that he had built his career and persona on, after all.
This simple mantra, taken from a fantastical song about lizard creatures, was considered seriously and developed into something beautiful and complex. For the love of god, take the lyrics of the opening song ‘Scents and subtle sounds (intro)’:
If you would only stop to live
One moment at a time
You would I think, be startled by
The things that you would find
Like scents you never noticed
And many subtle sounds
Like colors in the landscape
And textures of the town
And the winds would lift you up
Into the sky above
And you'd be treated to a view
Of everything you love
And if the moment passes
You should try it once again
For if you do it right you'll find
The moment never ends
If ‘Surrender to the Flow’ was a poem, this is the form that it would take. Listen to ‘Nothing’ and tell me it isn’t a song that perfectly describes the joys and sorrows of ‘surrendering to the flow’ whether at a show or otherwise.
Near the beginning of this post, I mentioned how the content of the lyrics/themes in Undermind seemed strange given the circumstances. Take 'Scents and subtle sounds' again to illustrate. It describes a method of living where you affirm and celebrate the present moment in all its glory. The lyrics in that song are practically begging us to surrender to the flow. Connection, color, gratitude, love, and cherishing every moment. It affirms life in no uncertain terms.
For a long time, Trey Anastasio was the living embodiment of these concepts. He inspired thousands. He was deeply in love with life in ways that some of us can only imagine. Surrender to the flow represented all of that and more.
When he became addicted, he lost himself, and life lost its luster. It’s not a surprise to me that his philosophy made its way into his music in more literal ways as he strayed from his internal compass and found himself lost. Through Undermind, he explored and gave tribute to the life-affirming philosophy that he had built his following with. Each song desperately affirmed his commitment to life and living, even as he spiraled. Intentionally or not, in doing so, he crafted the most sincere, nuanced, and refined representation of the phish ethos that exists. It’s ‘surrender to the flow’, all grown up.
Undermind is a more somber and literal exploration of that ethos than the other albums because that’s what the band needed it to be at the time. It was created in somber, no, downright dire circumstances. The crisis forced the band to examine, in detail, what was important to them in no uncertain terms. When you're teetering on the edge, you're forced to confront yourself on even your most fundamental convictions. For both Trey and the band, this manifested as 'Undermind.'
Summary)
Undermind deserves more love, and I believe it to be their most underrated album. It is a product of the dire circumstances it was created in. I know that much of the ethos comes directly from Trey’s persona. When he lost sight of himself, the band was forced to thoroughly investigate what Phish meant to them. This birthed an earnest and raw album that drilled straight down to the core of 'Phish's' essence.
If this post inspires you to give it a relisten, I urge you to put some time aside to think about what phish means to you. Ask yourself why it speaks to you. Why does ‘surrender to the flow' mean so much to us?’ Why do you think it became the phrase that encapsulates the band in its entirety? Ponder all this while you revisit the various magical moments you’ve been a part of. Perhaps you can even think back on how your understanding of our shared philosophy has shifted over the years, or pivotal moments that shaped that understanding. How has it manifested in your life personally? If you can, try to think back on the first time you heard ‘surrender to the flow.’ How did it make you feel?
Then, go into this album viewing it as a case study or exploration of phish’s essence. I promise that your appreciation for the band and Trey will increase. I’m certain that your own understanding of the lifestyle will be enriched. ‘Surrender to the flow’ may even take on whole new meanings for you like it did for me.
Love you all! Let me know what you think of Undermind! Why do you love (or hate it). Am I completely f***ing insane? Let me know pholks!
Love Undermind, love Trey, love Mike, love Fish, love Page, and most of all I LOVE ALL OF YOU! Have a wonderful day phriends!